Hello all. I return to the blog community with sad news. David and I were hoping this entry would be joyful, but it is not in the capacity we were hoping. We have known for about a month now that I was pregnant, but found out at my first doctor visit that there was no heartbeat, and our baby was no longer living. I started miscarrying on Saturday evening, and am still awaiting the end of this process. I may have to have the D&C tomorrow to finish things.
We are of course, heartbroken, but have been served, once again, by our Heavenly Father in ways we didn't know were possible. The incredible peace that has settled over our family is amazing, ... truly something that passes understanding. The power of prayer has been demonstrated over and over to us, as we have slept soundly and had the strength to move forward each day. We have had emails, phone calls, and visits with so many folks who have shared their love, compassion, and stories of their own loss. The most exciting thing to me is being a part of the Body of Christ, as it functions the way it was "built" to function. We continue to praise our Creator, whose ways are above our ways and thoughts above our thoughts and timing is literally, everything. I know that our baby is laughing and cuddling and sleeping in the arms of Jesus tonight and every night -- what more could I ask as a mommy, that Perfect Love cradle my child? It is hard, and I know I will have good days and bad, but I am excited to see (or not see) the glory that will come to Father because of our little one.
Erin is holding out okay -- we haven't really made a big deal about a new baby to her yet, just with little comments along the way about sharing some of her things with a new baby. In her mind though, the new baby is Aunt Chelle and Uncle John's baby, who will be arriving in early August (YEAH!!!), and we will just keep it that way. We've been blessed with family being close by to keep her overnight and help as we try to get to all the appointments and as I try to begin the physical healing. She is aware that I am "sick" and has been trying her best to help me feel better by administering lots of hugs and kisses, and occasionally washing my legs and feet with a damp washcloth. She is such a blessing and joy -- even if she is loud and jumpy lots of the time! We treasure her, even more now, as we pull together as a family. What a gift.
Okay, as usual, I've rambled on for much too long. Thank you for your prayers -- please keep them coming, as the days and weeks ahead will still be difficult. May God's peace envelope you today as we have experienced it in this very moment.
In Him, Sarah
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
You can count on my prayers! I love you guys and wish I could be closer at this time.
Hugs & Kisses,
Krista
Sarah,
This has happened to my wife and I twice. Most recently, we were especially bothered by the news. We had JUST discussed how much we wanted this child the night before we heard the news that he/she had died. We were devastated. I was mad at God. After all we had been sacrificing for Him... after all we were doing... this is what we got in return.
Less than a week had passed when Sunday rolled around and we drug ourselves into church. At church, in the middle of service, a woman stood to her feet and began speaking. She had never been there before. No one knew who she was.
She said that she had lost a child to a miscarriage and then a one-year-old in a car crash some years ago. She spoke of how devastated she was by that. But then, she said, God spoke to her and comforted her. She said that God told her how much He loves the little children. He then asked her, "Can you imagine Heaven without babies? Children are so beautiful... the most beautiful things in creation... how could Heaven be Heaven without little children?"
Before church was over, she disappeared.
She's never been seen since.
We think that she was our angel. We were healed of much hurt instantly. So I pass that along to you. Just know that your meeting with this child has only been delayed... not cancelled. And that your present loss will result in a more beautiful and wonderful Heaven for all of humankind.
What would Heaven be like without babies? I must confess, if there were none... I wouldn't wanna go.
You are loved.
Luke
Post a Comment