Thanks to David's boss, we had tickets to see Phil Wickham, Audio Adrenaline, and MercyMe in concert! David and I, plus my sister Desiree and our friend Mary went and had a great time. The concert was fun, with lots of energy, great music, fun lights, and streamers/confetti, ...
However, my favorite parts were the "spoken" words shared by Bart from MercyMe. He talked about how we, as the church, often forget the important things, and how we exclude people, forget to be reverant toward God, and how our only purpose in life is to worship Him with our life (not just our singing, but with each action and posture of our day). He shared that last year while touring, many of the band members lost close friends/relatives and how hard it was to keep going, but because of their ministry and desire to further the Kingdom, they kept their schedule. Some people, trying to be sympathetic or encouraging, asked them how they could keep worshipping God with all of the bad things happening, and it struck a chord with them, that if we got what we deserved, we would all be in a huge world of hurt, but that because of God's grace, mercy, and love, we are sheltered and cared for, even in the midst of pain. They felt that as we are so pursued and loved by God, the only response we can offer IS worship, and if it takes heartache and pain to bring us to the point of glorifying Him, then "bring the rain".
As it has rained here all day (and on us as we briskly walked several blocks from our parking garage to the auditorium) I kind of began reflecting on the past few years of life, especially regarding this recent miscarriage. When we lost our baby in Feb of 2005, it was devastating, but we were carried amazingly and beyond our understanding by God's peace and comfort. I remember crying and thinking, what better could I want for my baby, than to be cradled in the arms of the Father, forever, surrounded by perfect Love? I know now, that even though that baby never warmed my arms, that God used her for His glory. This baby is different ... I am not devastated, I am at peace, if a little puzzled. We were not asking for a baby or planning for one so soon. I am not sure what the purpose is in this, but I know who does, and I am okay with that. However, as I sat through Bart's remarks tonight, and listened to the song, I did have tears, and rejoiced, that even though the rain has seemed to pour at times, that God offers His hand, and a rain coat (I think mine is bright yellow and comes with a hat and boots), and waits for us to realize that the rain is not washing us away, but washing us, turn our faces to Him to drink in His holiness, splash in the pools of His grace, and in the end, warm up in the dry safety of His love, showering Him with praise, adoration, reverence, and worship. This is not to say that life is cheerful like a rainy day in a yellow slicker, but we have the opportunity to respond to life in a way that reflects His light, even if we have to wade through the muck of "life", and praise Him all the more for bringing us through it. This is all just jumbling around in my head right now, but I wanted to share it, because it is fresh in my heart. Here's to yellow boots, mud pits, and the rain.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
The fun just keeps on coming ...
Well, as my last post stated, we have had a crazy past month, and in the words of my friend Rachel, the fun just kept on coming. Right after publishing my last post (Saturday evening), the medicine kicked in, and by midnight, I thought we had completed that little chapter of life. I was, however wrong. Monday night, David had to take me to the ER in Olathe around 11:30, due to excessive and fast loss of blood. Dunley came to stay with the girls, which was a big relief that we didn't have to cart them to the ER with us! We arrived, and Dr. Peck had let the ER folks know what was going on, and they were ready for us. He was even on stand by incase I needed a D&C. Thankfully, though, I didn't have to have a D&C to finish things, they took care of it in the ER, gave me a liter of fluid, and dismissed me. I had great care from the ER staff at Olathe Medical Center, listened to a few exciting and interesting "cases" on some late night Court TV shows, and we arrived home around 2:30 am.
David stayed home from work on Tuesday to help me with the girls and allow me to rest (I should say, he took care of the girls except when I had to nurse Avery). He also was a WONDERFUL husband and sorted all the laundry and spent a large majority of the day washing, drying, hanging, folding, AND putting it away. I helped some with this, but not much. He cleaned the bathroom, as well, and was a great help to me all day. This trend continued all week, as he kept laundry going in the evenings (I don't know how to describe the amount of dirty laundry we had piled up around here, but "mountain" seems applicable, and I think the pre-sorting pile was taller than Erin, but shorter than David). THANK YOU, HONEY! I am feeling much better at the end of the week. I still feel weak sometimes, and I haven't been able to do much at a time without being out of breath or light headed, but that has gained each day. I am so thankful for my family and my health - my follow up appointment with Dr. Peck was fine!
On a slightly humorous note, Dr. Peck's parting remarks to me on Friday were, "Sarah, we love you and your family (both girls are favorites with the nurses, and Dr. Peck seems to get a big kick out of Avery's animal noises), but I think it would be best for you and your body if we didn't see you for a year, when you need to come in for your annual exam. In fact, we usually recommend at least 18 months between pregnancies." I responded, "I would recommend at least 36!"I thought it was a pretty funny ending to this experience. I love my OB!
David stayed home from work on Tuesday to help me with the girls and allow me to rest (I should say, he took care of the girls except when I had to nurse Avery). He also was a WONDERFUL husband and sorted all the laundry and spent a large majority of the day washing, drying, hanging, folding, AND putting it away. I helped some with this, but not much. He cleaned the bathroom, as well, and was a great help to me all day. This trend continued all week, as he kept laundry going in the evenings (I don't know how to describe the amount of dirty laundry we had piled up around here, but "mountain" seems applicable, and I think the pre-sorting pile was taller than Erin, but shorter than David). THANK YOU, HONEY! I am feeling much better at the end of the week. I still feel weak sometimes, and I haven't been able to do much at a time without being out of breath or light headed, but that has gained each day. I am so thankful for my family and my health - my follow up appointment with Dr. Peck was fine!
On a slightly humorous note, Dr. Peck's parting remarks to me on Friday were, "Sarah, we love you and your family (both girls are favorites with the nurses, and Dr. Peck seems to get a big kick out of Avery's animal noises), but I think it would be best for you and your body if we didn't see you for a year, when you need to come in for your annual exam. In fact, we usually recommend at least 18 months between pregnancies." I responded, "I would recommend at least 36!"I thought it was a pretty funny ending to this experience. I love my OB!
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Roller Coaster -- the past three weeks
Well, this is not a blog I want to compose, but I am anyway ... The last three weeks have been what some might call an emotional roller coaster. We have experienced the range of emotion, from shock to excitement to worry to disappointment.
Three weeks ago, after feeling icky for the past month, someone suggested I take a pregnancy test. I refused at first, (Avery is only 6 months old for goodness sake!), but after reevaluating the symptoms I was having, I gave in and got a test. Upon taking it, the flaming blue line that appeared before I could even set the test back on the counter confirmed that, indeed, we would be adding a third child to our brood. Well, tears followed, but not out of immediate joy and jubilation, but out of fear. How would we support another baby (we still have a few outstanding bills from Avery!), where would be put another baby, how would we transport another baby (the Bronco had been rear-ended two days previously)???
I called to make an appointment with Dr. Peck (the most amazing OB/GYN EVER!), and made an embarrased request for an OB appointment. I was also concerned because Avery is still breastfedand I didn't know how safe that was for everyone involved. One of the nurses called me back and told me it was fine to keep nursing, just add 500 calories to my daily diet.
October 5th, I purchased a cheap crib from someone in Lawrence, to help us with the bedding shortage in the girls' room.
October 6th, we went to Dr. Peck's for our appointment. We found a lot of new staff, but several familiar faces. I did the routine pee-in-a-cup, and we waited for our turn. My vitals were fine, and I was starting to get excited because I know he does a sonogram at the first OB appointment to make sure everything is going well. It wasn't. He could not locate a baby in the gestational sac, so he asked us to make a new appointment for the following week.
The week between the two appointments was really hard, as I felt really sick each day. The girls were not getting fair mommy time, and I felt horrible about it. We went to the appointment on Thursday afternoon, and the sonogram revealed no growth, just a blighted ovum, which means (to my understanding) that the egg was fertilized, but didn't get beyond that.
We are now waiting for the miscarriage to be complete, as I took 4 pills this morning to instigate the process. I took them at 10am and it is now 6:30 pm, and I haven't even started anything. I have, however, been taking Tylenol 3s, and they are making me dizzyish and woozy, which is not the most exciting thing. I also have had a headache all day. The girls are with grandma and grandpa Rahija, I'm sure having a ball, so it has been nice and quiet here last evening and today. I have had lots of rest, so that is good too. I just hate waiting on things!
As far as emotions/reactions go, we are surprisingly at peace. It was weird being in the same room as we were when we heard this news about a year and a half ago, and it brought up lots of memories. However, at that time, we were hoping and trying for a baby, while now it completely surprised us -- we were NOT ready for another baby, although we would have loved it just the same. I don't know why these things happen, and I don't question God's timing, I just know that His ways are higher than mine. We are thankful for our family and friends who have and continue to support us. We are thankful for our girls, who, last night before grandpa and grandma came to pick them up, joined us in a family prayer time, where we all cried (Avery, simply because she was hungry). I tried to explain to Erin, that my tummy got confused and thought that there was a baby growing in there, but there wasn't, and mommy had to take this medicine so she could get back to being mommy again, instead of tired, grumpy mommy. She cried because she didn't want me to hurt, and was scared. That's why mommy cried :) What a sweet spirit this girl has!
I am also thankful for my husband, who has been with me all day, bringing me juice, grilled cheese sandwiches, warming the covers with a hairdryer because my feet were freezing, and just being here for me. I am so blessed! Thank you, God!
Three weeks ago, after feeling icky for the past month, someone suggested I take a pregnancy test. I refused at first, (Avery is only 6 months old for goodness sake!), but after reevaluating the symptoms I was having, I gave in and got a test. Upon taking it, the flaming blue line that appeared before I could even set the test back on the counter confirmed that, indeed, we would be adding a third child to our brood. Well, tears followed, but not out of immediate joy and jubilation, but out of fear. How would we support another baby (we still have a few outstanding bills from Avery!), where would be put another baby, how would we transport another baby (the Bronco had been rear-ended two days previously)???
I called to make an appointment with Dr. Peck (the most amazing OB/GYN EVER!), and made an embarrased request for an OB appointment. I was also concerned because Avery is still breastfedand I didn't know how safe that was for everyone involved. One of the nurses called me back and told me it was fine to keep nursing, just add 500 calories to my daily diet.
October 5th, I purchased a cheap crib from someone in Lawrence, to help us with the bedding shortage in the girls' room.
October 6th, we went to Dr. Peck's for our appointment. We found a lot of new staff, but several familiar faces. I did the routine pee-in-a-cup, and we waited for our turn. My vitals were fine, and I was starting to get excited because I know he does a sonogram at the first OB appointment to make sure everything is going well. It wasn't. He could not locate a baby in the gestational sac, so he asked us to make a new appointment for the following week.
The week between the two appointments was really hard, as I felt really sick each day. The girls were not getting fair mommy time, and I felt horrible about it. We went to the appointment on Thursday afternoon, and the sonogram revealed no growth, just a blighted ovum, which means (to my understanding) that the egg was fertilized, but didn't get beyond that.
We are now waiting for the miscarriage to be complete, as I took 4 pills this morning to instigate the process. I took them at 10am and it is now 6:30 pm, and I haven't even started anything. I have, however, been taking Tylenol 3s, and they are making me dizzyish and woozy, which is not the most exciting thing. I also have had a headache all day. The girls are with grandma and grandpa Rahija, I'm sure having a ball, so it has been nice and quiet here last evening and today. I have had lots of rest, so that is good too. I just hate waiting on things!
As far as emotions/reactions go, we are surprisingly at peace. It was weird being in the same room as we were when we heard this news about a year and a half ago, and it brought up lots of memories. However, at that time, we were hoping and trying for a baby, while now it completely surprised us -- we were NOT ready for another baby, although we would have loved it just the same. I don't know why these things happen, and I don't question God's timing, I just know that His ways are higher than mine. We are thankful for our family and friends who have and continue to support us. We are thankful for our girls, who, last night before grandpa and grandma came to pick them up, joined us in a family prayer time, where we all cried (Avery, simply because she was hungry). I tried to explain to Erin, that my tummy got confused and thought that there was a baby growing in there, but there wasn't, and mommy had to take this medicine so she could get back to being mommy again, instead of tired, grumpy mommy. She cried because she didn't want me to hurt, and was scared. That's why mommy cried :) What a sweet spirit this girl has!
I am also thankful for my husband, who has been with me all day, bringing me juice, grilled cheese sandwiches, warming the covers with a hairdryer because my feet were freezing, and just being here for me. I am so blessed! Thank you, God!
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Why, Mom?
There are days in the life of the Rahija family, that just seem to go better than others, and those that are quite the opposite, and are categorized into the "worse" than most. We've been having a few of the latter recently, following a nice stretch of better days. While going through some adorable pics taken of our family by the fabulous Ms. MacArthur, of Oklahoma, I found this one of Erin and Avery. The look on Avery's face seems to petition me with this silent question:
"Why do you let her touch me, mother? Why? She is loud, obnoxious, and continually tries to put my ears, fingers, toes, or cheeks into her mouth! She seems to think I like to have my head hugged multiple times each day - which by the way, I DON'T! -- and she also thinks I enjoy trying to sit up by being pulled by the top of my head, bending my neck at an unnatural angle, momentarily blocking my air supply. Yet, I endure it, except when it really hurts, and each day I feel the same way ... WHY?"
Hope you are having a "better than most" day!
Hope you are having a "better than most" day!
Zoo pics
So I realized after looking at our pictures from the zoo trip, that we took pictures of mainly animals (which would stand to reason, as we were at the zoo), but have very few of us in the pics with the animals. There are a few, so I'll post them here. Erin, I think we decided, would have been pleased to mainly see the "land of the zebras" (which we didn't get to until late in the afternoon when she was really worn out from the walking) and the roly polies meandering around. She did enjoy the sheep too, although was disappointed that we didn't let her feed them. Maybe it will be different next year :)
Looking at the Sumatran Tigers Spying on sunbathing kangaroos
Nervous of touching the sheep.Baboon licking cement rock- disturbing. 
At last, the Land of the ZEBRAS!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
