Smiles

The last few weeks have been pretty rough. I am fighting some unknown, unseen "thing" that makes me very exhausted some days, my joints ache frequently, my patience level dip to dangerous lows, and motivation to do anything more than feed the children at an all-time record low. I have some ideas about what it is and have an appointment scheduled with an arthritis doctor in April, and am trying to find a good family practice doctor to do a general physical and run some labs to determine something a little more concrete. Needless to say, raising three young children is a little tricky under these circumstances, and I find myself longing for them to sleep, play outside, or watch a movie away from me, because I am so exhausted or irritated by the noise, or just hurt and can't play with them the way they want to play. This is heart-breaking, as they are my life. HOWEVER, the last week has been somewhat better. I have hurt less and had a little more oomph. The best part of all this is that I have enjoyed my children. They have made me smile, cry, love them more, and belly laugh over and over (aside from Tuesday - we just won't talk about that day!).

Today, we had our friend Ella over for the beginning part of the day. Ember helped Ella do a puzzle ... Avery flew into my arms and squeezed my neck somethin' fierce upon waking up this morning ... Erin and I spent some time together working on our garden preparations ... Ember told me she loved me and hugged me so sweetly, she gave a hug to our neighbor Andrew this afternoon when he came over to play, and called him "big boy ..., Ember spent lots of time 'pinning/twirling and a new skill, jumping with me, as well as some dancing, gleefully shouting "woo HOO!" over and over ... I watched Erin thrive in the sun with her friend Aidan as they ran and ran this afternoon ... Avery persevered on her trike this afternoon, in spite of the bumps and dips in our sidewalk ... drinking in the delighted squeals and peals of laughter as all three of our kiddos play together ... and even tonight, as Avery was stalling sleep (I think she finally conked out about 11) and I heard her whispering to Erin (who was "sleeping over" in her room for a spring break slumber party) and changing the compromised cd back to her nighttime cd of choice after Erin fell asleep, I am content, and slightly amused with them. They are beautiful, creative, loving, and passionate little stinkers, and I am so blessed by them, by their hearts, and even their stubbornness. I am so thankful for these little things, things that change my life forever. Goodnight, blog friends.